| ku'lowkeweeu'lizum [n] a colloquial
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| | "dishwater blond"
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| expression; characteristic of spoken or
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| | "he/she sure has hay on his/her horns
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| written communication that seeks to
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| | today"
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| imitate informal speech, an expression, a
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| | "sat there like a bump on a log"
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| local or regional dialect expression.
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| | "actin' like she's got bees in her
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| I always remember my grandparents using
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| | bonnet"
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| such colorful quotes and sayings when I
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| | "you look like you have been drug through
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| was growing up. Later, when I married my
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| | a knot hole backwards."
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| husband, we spent time with his
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| | "ugly as sin"
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| grandparents and they had a different set
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| | "straight as an arrow"
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| of quotes and sayings that were equally
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| | "as sweet as pie"
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| as expressive yet with a southern twist.
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| | "skinny as a bean pole"
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| Some of these colloquialisms are a little
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| | "cant carry a tune in a bucket" - cant
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| crude, vulgar and to some, offensive. We
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| | sing
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| chose to include these quotes and sayings
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| | "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth" -
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| as well as the clean colloquialisms just
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| | cold woman
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| because they are also part of our
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| | "as loose as a goose"
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| culture.
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| | "just ignore him and he'll die quietly in
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| Not too smart - Dumb
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| | a corner." - said when really annoyed
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| "a few kangaroos short in the top
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| | with someone
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| paddock"
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| | "over the hill"
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| "dumb as a load of coal"
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| | "can't burn both ends of a stick (or
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| "two sandwiches short of a picnic"
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| | candle) at the same time"
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| "not the sharpest tool in the shed"
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| | "stubborn as a mule"
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| "one brick shy of a full load"
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| | "naked as a jaybird"
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| "toys in the attic"
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| | "I hope she lives to a 150 and looks it"
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| "the lights are on but there's nobody
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| | "she should get some shoes to go with
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| home"
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| | those bags" - said when someone looks
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| "not the sharpest knife in the drawer"
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| | really tired
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| "not the brightest bulb on the string"
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| | "do you have shoes to go with my bags?" -
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| "one French fry short of a Happy Meal"
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| | if I am looking really tired
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| "one donut short of a dozen"
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| | "up & down like a whore's drawers" -
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| "he couldn't make a noun and a verb agree
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| | refers to a nervous person, up & down
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| if his life depended on it"
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| | "doesn't know his behind from a hole in
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| "if brains were dynamite, he'd be
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| | the ground"
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| dangerous"
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| | "slicker (or cleaner) than a hounds
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| "he's a quart low in the crankcase"
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| | tooth."
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| "so dumb he couldn't hit the broad side
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| | "slipperier than snot on a glass
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| of the barn"
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| | doorknob"
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| "dumb as a rock"
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| | "colder than a well-digger's feet in
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| "if you had a brain you'd be dangerous!"
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| | Alaska"
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| "can't put a square peg in a round hole"
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| | "dead as a doornail"
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| "that boy's always going to be a day late
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| | "fit as a fiddle"
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| and a dollar short"
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| | "quiet as a mouse"
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| "dumber than a sled rack"
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| | "looks like the cat that a swallowed the
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| "dumber than a sledge hammer"
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| | canary"
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| "dumber'n dirt"
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| | "two ax handles wide across the behind" -
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| "dumber than a June bug on a string"
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| | fat
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| "dumber than a box of rocks"
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| | "two ax handles and a rain barrel" - fat
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| "too dumb to pound sand in a rat hole"
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| | "like a fish out of water"
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| "slow as mud"
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| | "lying like a snake in the grass"
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| "ain't got both oars in the water"
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| | "lies like an old rug"
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| "porch light is on, but there ain't
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| | Dating
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| nobody home"
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| | "sure you can date; in fact I'll be
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| "so confused he don't know whether to
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| | waiting for him in the front yard while I
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| scratch his watch or wind his behind"
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| | sharpen my machete"
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| "dumber than a box of rocks"
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| | "yes, he has to come to the door and pick
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| "if you were twice as smart, you would be
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| | you up... how else will I get the change
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| a half-wit"
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| | to interrogate him?"
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| "dumb as a post"
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| | "if he wants to date you, he has to get
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| "the engine's runnin' but ain't nobody
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| | through me first!!" - referring to a date
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| driving"
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| | who blows the car horn for you
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| "two bricks shy of a full load"
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| | "now just wait a minute, you're movin' so
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| "he's crazier than a road-runnin' lizard"
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| | fast you look like one of Pavlovs dogs
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| "crazy as a loon"
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| | runnin' for the bell"
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| "if all his brains were dynamite, he
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| | "well that is rude. How rude? I'll tell
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| couldn't blow his nose"
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| | you how rude"
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| "dumb as a stump"
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| | "well he can just stay out there and blow
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| "smart as a whip"
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| | his horn, and maybe he'll get some cows
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| Blind
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| | to come home"
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| "blind as a bat"
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| | "don't stay out later than when the cows
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| "if it was a snake it'd've bit me"
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| | come home"
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| "a blind man could see that with his
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| | Slow, Fast
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| cane"
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| | "high-tailing it" - running fast
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| "Ray Charles could see that"
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| | "fast as a rabbit"
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| Exclamation - Excitement
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| | "like green corn through the new maid"
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| "grate day-in-na mawnin!!" - great day in
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| | Stop Yer complainin'
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| the morning!
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| | "well it's better than a kick in the arse
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| "well, I'll swan!"
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| | with a frozen boot!"
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| "slick as a whistle!" - said when
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| | "well, it's better than a poke in the eye
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| something went well
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| | with a blunt stick!"
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| "hell in a hand basket" - going to pot
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| | "want in one hand, spit in the other, and
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| "going to pot" - going to hell
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| | see which one gets full first." - reply
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| "I'll be cow kicked by a mule!"
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| | to someone that wants something
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| "wouldn't that just dill your pickle?" -
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| | "it's better than a sharp stick in the
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| Used to express dismay over something
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| | eye"
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| that has or might happen.
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| | Poor, Rich, Money
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| "wicked awesome!"
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| | "don't have a pot to p___ in or a window
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| "wicked cool"
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| | to throw it out of"
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| "wicked awful good"
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| | "poor as a church mouse"
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| "some wicked awful good"
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| | "he may be good looking but good looking
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| "bless her heart" - You can say anything
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| | won't put food on the table"
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| about someone, however unkind, as long as
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| | "you've got champagne taste with a beer
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| you bless her when you're done. "She's
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| | pocketbook" - expensive taste
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| dumb as a bag o'hammers, bless her
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| | "don't have one penny to rub against
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| heart."
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| | another one"
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| Experienced - Not dumb
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| | "tighter than bark on a tree" - not
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| "I like to think that I've 'been around
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| | generous
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| the block few times, just so I don't look
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| | "don't have a pot to pee in or a window
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| that way."
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| | to throw it out" - poor
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| "do I look like I just fell off a turnip
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| | "he's got enough money to burn a wet
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| truck?"
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| | mule"
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| "well don't that just beat all"
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| | "filthy rich"
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| "smart as a whip"
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| | "dirt poor"
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| "sharper than a tack"
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| | Dishonest
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| "This ain't my first rodeo"
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| | "he's so dishonest he'd rather p--s in
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| Ugly, Pretty
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| | the wind than tell the truth"
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| "uglier than the south bound end of a
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| | "he knows more ways to take your money
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| north bound donkey"
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| | than a roomful of lawyers"
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| "uglier than a burnt stump"
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| | Eat, Drinking and Cooking
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| "you're purtier than a glob of butter
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| | "wetting your whistle" - getting a drink
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| meltin' on a stack of wheat cakes"
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| | "gooder 'an candy and better 'an snuff" -
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| "prettier than a blue-nosed mule."
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| | grandma's cookin'
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| "uglier than the east end of a horse
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| | "he eats like a pin in a swaller"
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| headed west"
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| | "stump water" - weak coffee
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| "cuter than a speckled pup"
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| | "don't swallow watermelon seeds or you'll
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| "he looks like the dog's been keepin' him
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| | wake up one morning with vines growing
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| under the porch" - Not handsome
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| | out of your ears"
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| "when I was a kid, I was so ugly that my
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| | "tad, smidgen, dab" - Granny's cooking
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| mother had to tie pork chops to my ears
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| | measurements
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| so the dog would play with me."
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| | "tough as shoe leather"
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| "ugly as sin"
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| | "grub's on"
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| Comments Made About People
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| | How You Doing?
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| "you could grow potatoes in those dirty
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| | "oh, I'm circlin' the drain"
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| ears"
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| | "fair to midlin" - I am told that this
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| "sweet as honey"
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| | has to do with grading cotton
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| "got off like a fat rat with cheese"
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| | "if I had a tail, it'd be waggin'"
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| "as full of wind as a corn-eating horse"
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| | "well, better 'n gettin' poked in the
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| - prone to boasting
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| | eye, I suppose"
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| "he's got a ten-gallon mouth" - talkative
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| | Tell Someone to Get Lost
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| "low man on the totem pole"
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| | "take a long walk off a short pier"
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| "cool as a cucumber"
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| | "away and boil your head" - telling
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| "flat as a pancake"
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| | someone to get lost
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| "workin' like a dog"
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| | Yes, No, Maybe, Never......
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| "meaner 'n a rattlesnake"
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| | "I might could do that" - maybe
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| "old as Moses' toes"
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| | "when pigs fly" - never
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| "hair as black as coal"
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| | "If the good Lord willin' and the crick
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| "deaf as a doorknob/blind as a bat"
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| | don't rise" - when asked about the
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| "so skinny they have to stand up twice to
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| | likelihood of just about anything
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| make a shadow"
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| | happening
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| "couldn't hit a barn if you were on the
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| | "does a bear s**t in the woods"
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| inside, with the door closed"
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| | Loud
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| "ants in her pants"
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| | "You kids are noisier than a fox in the
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| "so windy he could blow up an onion sack"
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| | henhouse"
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| "so useless if he had a third hand he
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| | "You're so loud you could wake the dead"
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| would need another pocket to put it in"
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| | "Speak up, I think that mountain goat in
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| "lower than a snake in a wagon track"
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| | Tibet did'n hear you!"
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| "sly as a fox"
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| | Cussing
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| "strong as an ox"
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| | "son of a gosh darned sassaffras root!
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