| One of the things I meant to do when I
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| | one-room apartments - peopled mainly by
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| returned to Scotland four years ago was
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| | musicians. It was run by a little woman
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| to look up an old Scottish friend that
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| | called Angie, who was near the end of her
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| I'd last seen some twenty years ago in
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| | career as a dancer. At this time she had
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| London. In truth I had a whole hatful of
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| | a whip act with a guy called Dennis. It
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| ambitions and intentions on my list, and
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| | was quite a skilful act, as he had to
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| rather to my own surprise and to the
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| | crack this whip around her throat from a
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| utter amazement of my wife and daughter,
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| | distance, and, as she explained it, one
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| I've gradually managed to tick them off
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| | little mistake and the whip would
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| over the last few years. Alright, I know
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| | throttle her.Angie liked a drink or two
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| you can't wait to find out what was on
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| | and always wore dark glasses. She did not
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| this list, so I'll just run through some
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| | get on well with her partner. I think he
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| of them briefly. First of all, since I
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| | had once been more than her stage
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| was no longer a full-time musician,
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| | partner, but now they bickered
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| having developed the guitarists version
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| | constantly, like an old married couple.
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| of tennis elbow, I needed something else
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| | Dennis was a big man with a little goatee
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| to fill my time, and the only other thing
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| | beard. He had a soft, whiney voice, like
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| I was good at (apart from snooker) was
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| | David Beckham but he was mighty strong. I
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| art. I had always painted and sketched,
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| | remember once giving Angie a lift in her
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| mostly landscapes, although I rarely sold
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| | minicar (she didn't drive), after they
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| anything.I had an idea that there was a
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| | had had a row. He came out of the house
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| market for pet portraits if I could reach
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| | and stood in front of the car to make it
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| it, and and the way to do that seemed to
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| | stop and then twisted off the wing mirror
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| be via the internet, so I bought a
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| | with one hand and tossed it in the
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| computer, digital camera, printer etc and
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| | gutter. Then he just ambled off. A nice
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| hired a local company to design and run a
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| | guy, really, I don't think he ever hit
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| website for me. After a while I realized
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| | her.As I said, most of the tenants were
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| that it was much cheaper to design your
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| | musicians. There was Maggie, who had a
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| own site, so I thought I'd have a go -
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| | great voice and adored Billie Holiday. In
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| how hard could it be, right? Very hard,
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| | fact everybody in the house adored Billie
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| was the answer, as anybody who has tried
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| | Holiday, except one guy who was a
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| it will tell you, but after two years of
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| | second-hand furniture dealer. There was
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| HTML, jpg's, links, virus's, backache,
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| | George, another bass player, who, on
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| eye strain and late nights I finally got
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| | being hauled up in front of the captain
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| the hang of it, although as a result of
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| | of a liner when he was working on a
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| being self-taught I find I'm quite
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| | cruise, stood eyeball to eyeball with him
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| knowledgeable about some aspects of
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| | and told him that he (George) was just as
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| web-building and appallingly ignorant
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| | good at his job as the captain was at
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| about others.Another project near to my
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| | his. He probably was, too.Then there was
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| heart was the search for any survivors of
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| | Kenny Vick, who was a jazz guitarist. He
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| the Scottish side of my family - a side I
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| | was very fastidious and tidy, and would
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| had lost contact with as a child. This
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| | follow you about the room, picking up any
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| was one of the reasons I'd gone on the
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| | bits of fluff or crumbs thst you might
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| internet in the first place, and yes,
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| | have dropped (a trait he shared with my
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| there were still Collins's living in the
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| | mother). He was a great player though.I
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| Edinburgh area and Cowdenbeath, where I
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| | learnt from all these people (with the
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| was born.When I made the trip down to
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| | possible exception of the furniture
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| Fife, I met my cousin June, who told me
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| | dealer, who nobody liked anyway), but the
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| about my dad, who I never really knew,
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| | one I remember most is Lindsay Cooper. I
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| and about my grandad, who was a miner (as
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| | remember playing flamenco in a pub while
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| all the men in the area were before the
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| | he read Frederico Lorca poetry in English
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| mining industry was destroyed by the -
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| | (his idea) and I remember him dragging us
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| but don't get me started). Grandad was
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| | all down to a music shop which had a sale
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| known as Tiger Collins because of his red
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| | on. He insisted that I buy a book of
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| hair. My cousin also told me that I had a
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| | Bach's partitas and sonatas for violin. I
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| half-sister who had been looking for me
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| | couldn't afford it but I bought it
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| for years, and was under the impression
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| | anyway. I still have it on my bookshelf,
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| that I had emigrated to Australia.I had
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| | and I would never part with it.We used to
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| known that I had a sister but what I
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| | get together in someones room about once
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| didn't know was that she lived just
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| | a week to talk about whatever came into
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| twenty miles from where I used to live in
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| | our heads. One time the talk turned to
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| England. I now know there are Collins's
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| | South Africa. (This was long before the
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| across west to Glasgow and probably all
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| | end of apartheid). The conversation was
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| the way over into Ireland and down to
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| | animated as usual. Everyone had something
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| Dublin in Cork, where all Collins's
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| | to say except Lindsay, who said nothing
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| ultimately come from. I'm also connected
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| | for about half an hour. Finally the talk
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| to the Donaldsons (my middle name). The
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| | died down and everyone looked at Lindsay
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| Donaldsons or Clan Donald were Lords of
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| | expectantly. He said nothing for a while,
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| the Western Isles at the time of the
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| | then cleared his throat. "South Africa's
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| Jacobite rebellion, but that's a story
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| | a turnip". There didn't seem anything to
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| for another time.Another idea that I had
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| | add to that.Although he had a love of
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| was to own a collie and after I lost my
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| | classical music he wasn't a great
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| Patch I acquired a border collie cross
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| | traditionalist. He thought that the past
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| called Oscar and we've just bought a
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| | was sometimes a hinderance to creativity.
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| rough collie as a companion for him. We
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| | I didn't have his bold, fearless approach
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| call her Daisy May. There are a couple of
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| | then, and I havn't got it now. I remember
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| items still on my list - I can't find a
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| | asking him, at one of our gatherings, how
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| decent snooker club and there are no
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| | he could ignore something like the
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| chess clubs within easy reach, but there
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| | paintings of Rembrandt and he said he
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| is one idea that will never be realized.
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| | would get rid of them. I asked him how,
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| Lindsay Cooper, my old friend from London
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| | and he said he'd burn them. Nobody said
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| died the year we moved up to Scotland.I
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| | anything. Lindsay looked around, noticed
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| found this out recently when I finally
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| | the stunned silence and hastened to make
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| got around to making a search on the
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| | amends. " Oh, but with grrreat
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| internet. When I knew him he was the
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| | rrreverence", he said in his broad
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| spitting image of 'Animal' from Hill
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| | Glaswegian accent.
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| Street Blues - remember the little guy
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| | Rest in Peace, Lindsay.
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| with the dark hair and the droopy
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| | James Donaldson Collins James Donaldson
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| moustache? - except he had the broadest
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| | Collins is an artist and writer. He lives
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| of Glaswegian accents. He played the
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| | in the Highlands of Scotland with his
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| double bass and also the cello. He played
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| | wife, daughter and three dogs. His
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| jazz but he also loved Bach.I'm talking
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| | interests are conservation, history,
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| about a time before I'd met my wife. I
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| | science fiction, chess and snooker. He
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| was very young and, it seems to me now,
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| | also claims to play guitar like a ringing
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| pretty dumb, but I was lucky enough to be
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| | a bell.
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| living in a house of bed-sits - or
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